Shock and Awe

This morning is the first time this week that I've been able to settle down and reflect on the immense changes taking place in my life. I think I'm in shock and I'm definitely awed by the amazing creative powers of the Universe. I could have never possibly imagined the Universe would respond to my heart opening so tremendously. Emotionally I'm a little overwhelmed by the bigness and goodness of it all. Can life really be this good for the long term or am I experiencing some kind of fluke that will fade back to into the isolation and frustration of the recent past?

In the last 10 days, these are the changes I've experienced:

I've connected with five different beautiful and wonderful people, both locally and long distance, who contacted me because they find me interesting and inspiring and want to explore the possibility of deeper connection.This is potentially more than just friendship in every instance. No one has shown interest like this for me in over 8 years! Now there are five, all pursuing me without any effort on my part other than being my authentic self? I just can't believe it. Combined with the new friendships and deepening friendships I'm also experiencing, I feel like I'm no longer searching for my tribe but actually in the midst of creating it.

I am an entrepreneur. I never dreamed I'd say that about myself and it sounds weird and intimidating. I am starting a business and creating bliss work that I didn't even realize was a possibility as work of my heart. Can I really make money by creating sacred space for sexual and creative growth and connection? This is bliss work for my partners as well, so the evolutionary journey for us individually and collectively promises to be deep and exciting.

We started production meetings for The Laramie Project. Now it's not just an intellectual idea of something to come, but an experience requiring immediate time and energy.

My son is actually being wooed by Columbia University. They contacted this week and have indicated that he is in the top of his class, so they are flying him out to New York next weekend to visit the school, participate in a conference and more. How amazing is that? I didn't even know colleges did things like that.

And last, but certainly not least, I got a 90 day lay off notice from my work the day before yesterday due to the state budget cuts. Now I know this seems like something I should be freaked out about, but truly, I'm not. For one, life is too damn good right now. Also, I've known it's time to move on and this gives me enough time to create the next professional step.  I am already in the process of applying for a new position as volunteer coordinator for an organization that matches adult advocates with children in the court system. Not only am I drawn to the community served, but this position could be the perfect transition from administration to more direct service. If I get it, I'd be interviewing, matching, training and supporting the volunteer advocates. And serendipity has been at play...one of my new friends used to work with this agency and gave me lots of useful information, as well as connected me with the woman who created the position. I've never had networking happen like that for a job possibility before so I'm encouraged by the magic of it all. No expectations, but definitely some hope.

So this morning I feel stunned and am trying to settle into all this change by honoring all the emotions that arise as I reflect on each situation. Part of me wants to cry--just for the release. Part of me wants to dance wild. Part of me wants to climb on the roof and shout out my immense love for Life and God and Love and Being. Part of me wants to curl up in bed and hibernate in an effort to just slow down.

I'm realizing my lesson in Presence is changing. Instead of working in isolation to keep negativity at bay by being in the moment, I must instead maintain presence so that I don't get carried away into all this activity without intention and awareness. I don't want to slip into the all too common busy/stressed American role.  A full life is good if it  is managed consciously.  But I have to be aware of my need for downtime...10 straight nights of commitments is not the best way of being for me!